An officially engaged sister

If I thought having a twitterpated, gushy, lovey-dovey sister was bad, having her be engaged is even worse.

Nathan came to pick Deborah up Saturday morning to go "hiking." Course he was dressed very nice, so Deborah decided to get dressed up also. Right as I left I said to mom, "He's going to propose. Nobody gets dressed up that much to go hiking." Later when I came back from running errands, Mom said Deborah had called and I was right. This is Saturday morning.

The date set is Dec 28th. I was planning to be home for Christmas, so this is not a problem. I actually kept getting on Deborah's case about it because I wanted to go visit cousin Alice in Shanghai, and I was waiting for a date so I could buy a ticket.

Here's the thing. Deborah is 26. She's a very immature 26. She has these ideas of how things are to happen. Mom and I were going to the store later and she was saying it was a wedding, not a fashion show or a beauty pageant.

Deborah and Mom have been on the phone since about noon continuously talking about the wedding to other people. Deborah had to call each of her bridesmaids (six nieces and a cousin) to ask them if they would be in her wedding. And then she had to call just about all other people on the planet she knew. The four colors people can wear are: Burgundy, Navy Blue, Mustard, and heather? I can tell you right now I'll need to look up what those last two even are. I think it's safe to say mustard is yellow, but is heather a green of some sort? Whatever.

And you'll never guess who the two biggest culprits are that are encouraging Deborah's drama, princess, it's-all-about-me-mindset. My two older sisters Julie and Sarah. They're talking already about dress colors, matching shoes, hairstyles, and planning a shower.

Awhile back, my friend Lucy and I made an observation between the two of us. We have come across people who are concerned with our love lives. These are people who try to get us to do online dating, make our wardrobe more fashionable, actually style our hair, etc. There's a trend we notice in all of them........................they all had pretty messed up marriages themselves.

So that helped me explain better why Julie and Sarah are so into wedding details right now. Their marriages are horrible. They have been a great example to me of what NOT to do when deciding to marry someone.

Let me clarify here in case my annoyance comes across as bitterness. It's not. I am not jealous of the fact Deborah is getting married. In fact I was telling mom this afternoon, as much as I like Nathan, I don't want to marry him. After seeing many great, functional marriages up close and personal, you just realize it's not all about the wedding.

I keep thinking of what mom and several other women I talk to say. They don't remember the decorations or the colors of their wedding day. They remember the stress and details of putting it all together.

I think of a line from one of my favorite books by Maria Shriver. "I'd wish I'd known in the grand scheme of things, a big expensive wedding is a silly waste of time, money, and angst."

Alright, now that I've gotten that off my chest, the rest of you can bemuse yourselves over it. FYI, I haven't told my family about this blog and I don't think I will. Wouldn't give me the freedom to vent about them. 

On that note, I think I'll go search for a picture of bridezilla to show mom.